I started bLogging July 28th, 2003 … If you go back to my first post, you will see the why’s and where’s … Whatever … So when I brought up a site to cover the crew that worked with Octane, I put a bLog on there … for the most part, it was just Alex and I bLogging about the past shows and maybe some incidental stuff that came along … I guess at some point it got kind of out of hand because we told mostly the truth and started giving our opinions on the encounters that we ran into at the various clubs we set up and broke down … It all came to a head when one club we play at didn’t particularly care for the comments that Alex had left about their club, and through whatever means, the agent that booked the room was alerted to our bLog and had print out in hand when he went in for a meeting with the owners … Anyway, shortly after that meeting, my phone rang and I took down Alex’s post … A while after that, and a few conversations following, it turned out I figured I would just take the whole bLog down …
The reason why I took the whole thing down was simple … Not only was there the events that had transpired that Tuesday following the previous weekend, I wasn’t sure that maybe some stuff may be looked into further by the vindictive parties that brought the original post to the attention of the agent … Surely, the agent himself doesn’t go to OctaneCrew.Com and check out what’s happening on the crew site … So it was obvious that there was a directed source there showing the way to “the good stuff” … This is when I decided that there may exist some other “good stuff” so I removed everything …
Prior to this last straw happening, there had been other conflicts rising out of my postings … People whom I thought “knew” me questioned the posts that I had made … Saying that it didn’t sound like me, and that my words were chosen calculatingly in that they could be construed multiple ways … Well, I was floored, and for the first time ever I edited one of my posts … After this incident I came to realize that people thought I had changed since I took the job with Octane … That I carried myself in such a way that I thought I was better than everyone else … If they only knew … I have to tell you I was way more confident in my house job rather than going club to club to national shows with Octane … There is so much more pressure in this … Now I constantly question my abilities as they’re described so often behind my back and to my face …
One of the things posted in my crew bLog was that I was questioning the way another sound guy was mixing a band … He had frequencies going that I thought to myself were harsh … I mentioned it to him and he brought them down in the EQ … Later that same date, those frequencies were back … So, I thought out loud in my bLog that it’s a sign of someone who’s losing their hearing to boost those frequencies because they can’t hear they as well … The guy who was running the stuff at the time I know to be a good sound engineer … So I was questioning what he was doing because I was wondering if I was doing it wrong … (Oh, he was mixing on my PA) … so since he was running it that way, I thought to myself that I was running it wrong … but then I conflicted in myself that I thought it was harsh, and I made it sound how I thought it sounded best … This is way more detail than in my Crew bLog post, but it’s the story behind the comment that set the world on fire …
People tell me after a set … it sounded great … and I don’t believe them … People whom I trust, I ask them how it sounded, and they say great and I don’t believe them … It is my dilemma that even though everyone says it sounds fine, I don’t believe them … It’s like a curse or something … There are times that I do think it sounds okay, but I pick apart everything and there is a flaw in everything I do in my opinion … I have recorded shows and brought them home … When I can listen at my own volume and pick apart those things that flew by that particular evening … There are some recordings that could pass for something to keep around … Maybe burn to CD and listen to every once in a while … But of all of them, I know there is something I could have done differently … I guess what it boils down to is that I’m insecure …
Well, the bLog thing has been on my mind recently … It has been bothering me the response I’ve been getting about it … People saying I’ve changed, etc … They seem to think working with Octane I have money falling out of my pockets and I go around stepping on people’s heads … I get crap for growing my sideburns long … Sheesh … I’m not going to get any tattoos, nor am I going to pierce my face up, so gimme the long sideburns to try to fit in with the band, okay? I’m not making huge amounts of money, but I am making about the same in two nights that I made in a week (six nights) at my house gig … Was probably a good move cause that gig has now gone down to three nights … I have gained way more in expenses though … Truck just cost me $675.00 to repair … Broke down on a Friday night, so I rented for Saturday night … that cost $275.00 … So there’s $950.00 in repair and rental … Then tack on about another $100.00 for fuel over the weekend … over a grand … I can tell you I didn’t make a G this past weekend …
My attitude hasn’t changed … The attitude seems to come from where I bring my PA system into … Like I even have a choice? Octane asks me to provide my sound system for all of their shows … they had to hear my PA system before I even was considered for the job … A lot of clubs have house systems installed … The rooms where I can bring my PA in and power it, Octane wants my PA in there … It does save a lot of hassle in the wear and tear department of some of these rooms … Octane is a loud rock band … In some of these rooms, being that loud is not possible because the PA while maybe adequate for the room and a regular party band, it’s not adequate for Octane … Some of the rooms, the PA is adequate, but the system owner is so fearful of things blowing up that he’s compressed the crap out of it … This only makes Octane sound worse … So the best solution is to bring in Octane’s (my) PA … I would think in some cases people would be happy about that … Whatever … It’s what Octane wants, and since I do this, I have this reputation now of demanding that my PA is used, etc etc … Welp, it’s what my employer requires of me … So damn the rep, I do what I have to do …
Ah, just venting again, and I think it’s okay to vent on my own personal web site … isn’t it?